“Just be yourself” might be the worst leadership advice ever given. The authenticity paradox is real, and it’s time we talked about it.
The business world has become obsessed with authentic leadership—encouraging leaders to bring their whole, unfiltered selves to work. While authenticity creates trust and connection, there’s a dangerous flip side that few discuss: sometimes your authentic impulses can damage your effectiveness as a leader.
Consider this scenario: You’re naturally impatient and blunt. When stressed, your authentic response might be to snap at team members or make cutting remarks. Should you really “be yourself” in that moment? Or should you regulate those impulses to preserve team morale and psychological safety?
This is the authenticity paradox—the tension between showing up as your genuine self and adapting your behavior to meet the needs of your role and your team.
Effective leaders understand that authenticity isn’t about unfiltered self-expression. It’s about aligning your actions with your values while adapting your expression to the context. They practice what I call “strategic authenticity”—showing up genuinely while consciously choosing which aspects of themselves to emphasize in different situations.
Research by Herminia Ibarra from London Business School confirms this perspective, suggesting that authenticity is not about being static but about growing into the leader you aspire to become. Sometimes this means stretching beyond your comfort zone and developing new skills that don’t feel “natural” initially.
So how do you navigate this paradox?
First, distinguish between your core values (which should remain consistent) and your behaviors (which can and should adapt to different situations).
Second, practice “adaptive authenticity” by developing a repertoire of leadership styles that you can deploy while still feeling aligned with your core self.
Third, seek feedback about when your authentic tendencies might be limiting your effectiveness.
I worked with a CEO who prided herself on being “brutally honest” as part of her authentic leadership style. Her feedback was valuable but often delivered in ways that crushed team confidence. Through coaching, she learned to maintain her commitment to honesty while adapting her delivery to be more constructive—still authentic to her values but expressing them in ways that built others up rather than tearing them down.
The most powerful leaders aren’t simply “being themselves”—they’re consciously evolving into their best selves while staying true to their core values. That’s the authenticity sweet spot that resolves the paradox.